Poos device works

Device arrived 1st December. I received it last Friday when I came home and planned on using it ASAP. I'm lactose intolerant so I eat dairy free spread. I asked Dad to get some at the shop so he went out to get that and a whole bunch of stuff. He comes back and says they don't have it. Later on I tuned the device like a HDR, rubbing my fingers along a hard surface until they become 'sticky' whilst saying what are the rates to get me into the universe I want? It was 9000 Hz. Then I crawled through the hoop and checked the fridge. No such luck. Then I went and did crawled through and checked the fridge. Again no spread. Then I did it a third time and then a forth. On the forth time I forgot to look in the fridge and gave up. I watch tv and then go to get a beer. In front of me was the spread. I nearly crapped myself. Talk about forth time lucky. I say 'why is there spread in the fridge?' To Dad who says 'I got some this morning'
I say 'weren't they all out?' And Dad laughs and says...

Poos device works